Randomage... complete and utter

Title: "If I could be a superhero"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Characters: Rattus Rattus, Dave Lamb (principal), Charles II, Sotherby, Lady Posh, Alexander the Great, Hephaestion, Blenkinsop, Maltravers (secondary) Genre: Adventure Rating: PG
Beta: None
Summary: An accident in the time-sewers leads to people throughout history getting superpowers, and it's up to Dave Lamb and Rattus Rattus to get them back ...
Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!

Part 2: Rattus and Dave remove Charles II's power, and are now on their way to remove Lady Posh's ...

( " "AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" Dave pelted through the door and swung it shut behind him ..." )

Title: "If I could be a superhero"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Characters: Rattus Rattus, Dave Lamb (principal), Charles II, Sotherby, Lady Posh, Alexander the Great, Hephaestion, Blenkinsop, Maltravers (secondary)
Genre: Adventure
Rating: PG
Beta: None
Summary: An accident in the time-sewers leads to people throughout history getting superpowers, and it's up to Dave Lamb and Rattus Rattus to get them back ...

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!

 Part 1: The time sewers break, and superpowers have been given to people throughout history. Now, Dave and Rattus have to get them back ...


( "Several hours later, Dave was trying very hard not to wring Rattus' neck. It wasn't going very well ..." )

Title: "If I could be a superhero"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Characters: Rattus Rattus, Dave Lamb (principal), Charles II, Sotherby, Lady Posh, Alexander the Great, Hephaestion, Blenkinsop, Maltravers (secondary)
Genre: Adventure
Rating: PG
Beta: None
Summary: An accident in the time-sewers leads to people throughout history getting superpowers, and it's up to Dave Lamb and Rattus Rattus to get them back ...

A/N: An awesome prompt on hhanon called for an accident in the time sewers causing everyone to have superpowers, and hilarity ensuing, and I went to write a nice short fill where this would happen. Somehow, it turned into over 11,000 words of adventuring fic where Rattus and Dave travel through history being semi-competent heroes, causing havoc and mayhem wherever they went. Nope, I've no idea either xD Thankyou anon, for posting such a BRILLIANT prompt!

A/N 2: All parts will be linked through at the end of each chapter :)

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!


( "Rumbling filled the air, and Rattus looked at the clock on the wall ..." )

Title: "Early Morning"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Pairing: Blenkinsop/Maltravers
Genre: Fluff
Rating: G
Beta: None
Summary: a brief peek at their life post-war

A/N: This was written for a prompt on hhanon, asking for Blenkinsop and Maltravers, Post-War domesticity. this is now part of a ridiculous amount of head-canon about those two, who insist on being ridiculously adorable even though we only see two minutes of them on screen :D

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own :)

( "The shell fire was getting louder, getting closer ..." )

Title: "Steel and Shot"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Characters: Admiral Nelson, Captain Hardy, William Beatty
Rating: R for gruesome
Beta: None
Warnings: Gore, Zombies, complete lack of historical accuracy
Summary: In the middle of the Napoleonic Wars, the crew of the HMS Victory are busy fighting the French. And zombies.

A/N: So there was a prompt on hhanon, calling for zombies in the time sewers. And I ended up writing an AU of the Napoleonic Wars where the French and Spanish keep revenants (zombies) on their ships and in their forts to attack the British. Nope, I've no idea either. Was insanely fun to write though :D

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!


( "Starboard battery, on my mark, fire!!!" )

Title: "Tissues and Touches"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Pairing: Charles II/Sotherby
Rating: G
Beta: None
Summary: Sotherby is suffering from a cold, and Charles tries to make it better :)

A/N: This was written for this prompt at hhanon: Charles uses his royal touch on Sothers. :) this is possibly one of the fluffiest things I have ever written :)

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own :)


( "It was official, he was dying ..." )

When you see this, comment with a poem you love or post one in your own journal to encourage the proliferation of random poetry through your flist.

Of course, I have about fifty-zillion poems that I love - "When I am old I shall wear purple", "An astronomer to his pupil", "Mort Aux Chats" (and Peter Porter is AMAZING :D)  and "High Flight" being a very small selection, but I decided on this one - not only is it a lovely poem, but she basically banned it from turning up on exam papers, so she's awesome just for that :D :

"Sometimes" by Sheenagh Pugh:

Sometimes things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go amiss;
sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you.

No, we're not treated equally.

Things have progressed a great deal - in many countries we have the same legal rights, there are a lot of opportunities that we have now that we could only dream of even fifty years ago, and there is a greater awareness of the need for equality.

But that doesn't solve everything.

Across the world, many women's options are limited to marry and have children. In many countries women don't get the chance to be educated. In many countries women do not get the chance to make their own decisions about their lives. Even in Britain, there is still a difference in what women earn compared to men, it's still newspaper worthy when a women takes charge of a company, there's still the view that women can only be angels or whores, there's still the backlash of the sixties where women think that they HAVE to do everything and be successful at everything and reject choices that don't fit with that view, and the usage of the word feminist is equated with either being a strident man-hater or being undesirable.

What I want, is a world where women and men can make their own choices about their lives, without being harassed or put down or treated differently because of it. I want a world where a woman can decide, "Yes, I want to run a country or a company or a business, I want to not have children, I don't want to get married, and I want to break every glass ceiling and fight for my rights" and not get treated differently for it. I want a world where a woman can also decide, "I want to marry and have children, be a stay at home wife and only get a job if I have to" and not get put down or treated differently for it.

I want a world where women get to choose what they want to do, and get the chance to follow through with their choice, no matter what background they're from. I want a world where a woman be shown as comfortable in her own image without people tearing her down.

I want a world where strong female characters - no matter what role they play in a story - are treated as strong characters, not singled out because they're female. I want people to see a strong female character and not find it out of place or in need of special recognition.

I want a world where people - no matter what gender they are - get to choose, and no one give a shit about their choice unless it directly affects them. I want a world where a woman can say "Yeh, I slept with three people last night" without people putting her down for being a slut, and a woman can say "I didn't sleep with anyone last night" without people putting her down for being frigid.

And we can solve this.

We can promote education for everyone so that everyone gets to be informed, we can promote sex education so that people learn that everyone is different and it's okay, we can promote businesses that give equal opportunities so that people rise up the ranks because of their talent, not because they're male or female. We can write petitions to governments saying that we want more advances in how women and men across the world are treated, and we can support the women and men who fight for those options. We can stop harassing people because of their choices because it doesn't matter whether you marry or not, have children or not, go for a job or not, all that matters is that you feel comfortable in making the choice that is right for you.

We can continue to write strong characters, real characters that don't airbrush flaws, and that are able to draw you into a story regardless of their gender. We can write characters having sex with whoever they wish and people not giving a shit unless it directly affects the story. We can shout from the rooftops and show people when we do find those stories so that they get the recognition they deserve and so that little by little, we can change how women are treated and perceived.

On a personal note, I want to be treated as though I am not a second-class citizen because of my gender, or superior because of it. I want to say to people that I want to join the RAF without people giving me the side-eye because of it. I want to fuck up without people drawing special attention to it, and I want to succeed without people raising me on a pedestal because I'm a woman. I want to change my dream and not get yelled at for doing so, and I want to do what I want without eyebrows being raised. I want people to not give a shit when I tell them I haven't had sex, and if or when I do, I don't want it treated as though I'm finally a woman. I want to be able to call myself a feminist without being degraded for it, and I want to be able to call myself a feminist and not be singled out for believing and wanting something that should be happening.

So I'm going to keep writing strong characters. I'm going to keep shutting down anyone who thinks that because I'm a woman, I can/can't do or say or like or hate or believe or don't believe in something. I'm going to keep educating myself, I'm going to keep making sure that when people think of me they think of a person unafraid to say what they think, unafraid to do what they want to do, and I'm not going to stop.

So yes, there are great positives - women are finally being treated as people and not an inferior part of mankind.

But there's a long way to go.

Title: "Fever and Silk"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Pairing: Charles II/Sotheby
Rating: NC-17
Beta: None
Prompts used: Charles II/Sotheby, restraints, attention
Warnings: Bondage, complete lack of historical accuracy
Summary: Charles II's attempt to make Sotheby not worry anymore. So far, it's working.

A/N: So after I wrote "Last one to the enemy buys the drinks in Berlin", I decided I wanted to write some smut. Smut involving Charles II and Sotheby, to be more precise. It ended up being completely late for the Porn Battle, had a number of goes (Charles II is no longer a complete Texts From Last Night Guy in better clothes), but here it is :). For those not in the know, here are Charles II and Sotheby being ridiculously adorable :)

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!


( "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were enjoying this Sothers ..." ) 

Title: "Last one to the enemy buys the drinks in Berlin"
Fandom: Horrible Histories
Pairing: Blenkinsop/Maltravers  
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Beta: None
Summary: the night before they go over the top.
Prompts used: Blenkinsop/Maltravers, trenches, kissing

A/N: Errrrrrrrrr - so _afterism  posted this amazingly wonderful and smutty piece called "Conquered the Known World" and said how there were prompts for Horrible Histories at Porn Battle XII, so I went and looked. And wrote this. Which is most certainly not porn, it's angsty angst of angstness. About the cutest guys in the world. Woops.

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will own!



( "It's nothing like how he'd imagined it would go at all ..." )